- Julia Charters
- Mar 6
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 7
In short, yes, a balanced life is possible, however it is a subtle and ever-evolving art, unique to each individual. It requires deliberate boundary setting and carefully chosen, consistent actions to create daily lifestyle habits across work and personal domains that reduce stress and align with our personal values. When we are mindful of the myth of "having it all" and prioritise keeping our wellbeing in balance, we are more likely to flourish in the long run and avoid burnout.
The Wellbeing Equilibrium
Dodge et al. (2012) proposed that wellbeing is a state of equilibrium or balance where individuals possess the psychological, social and physical resources to meet the challenges in their life. When faced with more challenges than resources, the equilibrium dips towards stress and mental and physical illness. A 'seesaw' analogy is useful to illustrate this idea.
Change your Habits, Change your Life
Stoewen (2017) developed a specific and practical framework that identified eight dimensions to wellness: physical, emotional, social, spiritual, intellectual, environmental, occupational, and financial. The model demonstrates how neglecting any one dimension over time negatively impacts overall health. The aim is to create daily habits in each dimension that lead to a sense of personal harmony that is authentic to the individual. As the Greek Stoic, Epictetus said, "...if you want to do something, make a habit of it."
Physical: Caring for the body through nutrition, exercise, and sleep.
Emotional: Understanding, accepting, and managing feelings effectively.
Social: Building relationships, fostering community, and connecting with others.
Intellectual: Engaging in creative, stimulating, and challenging mental activities.
Spiritual: Seeking meaning, purpose, and a deeper understanding of life.
Vocational: Finding satisfaction, enrichment, and purpose in work.
Financial: Managing resources, reducing stress, and planning for stability.
Environmental: Creating safe, stimulating, and pleasant surroundings.
The Myth of Perfection
In reality, we cannot excel in every area of life simultaneously and trying to do so only leads to overwhelm and stress and moves us in the direction of ill-health. A truly balanced life requires making, at times, difficult, conscious, and intentional choices about what to focus on and what to let go. Carl Rogers, the founder of modern humanistic psychology wrote, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” Through this lens, a balanced life is a continuous process of awareness and making adjustments when things have gone too far in an unhealthy direction.
Key Takeaways
Self-Awareness: Tailor habits to your personal strengths and energy patterns (e.g., "night owl" versus "morning lark").
Self-Regulation: Use intentional energy to control impulses and align behaviour with long-term goals.
Set Firm Boundaries: Actively protect your personal time by setting boundaries around work and social contexts. Digital boundaries are especially important such as using "do not disturb" or "time limit" features on phones.
Prioritise Health Habits: Ensure you have enough sleep, nutrition, and exercise to support both physical and mental well-being.
Practice Self-Correction: Recognise when you are tipping too far in one direction (such as working too much) and make small, immediate adjustments.
Accept that Balance is a Process, Not Perfection: Change takes time and is very individual. It can take anything from 18 to 254 days for habit formation (Lally et al., 2010), and requires small consistent steps and persistence, including after set-backs. (This is where a coach is useful!)
Personal Harmony: The goal is not to balance all life dimensions equally at all times, but to identify priorities, and find a personal balance that feels authentic to you.
Take a moment to think about what feels most important for you to focus on right now.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers.